THE ART OF SUCCESSFUL ONLINE DATING (PART 3)



By Dr. Weldon Green


So far we have discussed guidelines 1 – 7, in parts 1 and 2 of this blog post. I hope they been insightful and beneficial for your online dating experience. If you missed parts 1 and 2, I encourage you to read them by clicking on this link.


In this final post of the series, we are going to discuss the last 3 guidelines, and I have listed all 10 below for your reference.


1. Have a plan for the type of person you want to date

2. Have an end game in mind

3. Be honest to yourself and about yourself when creating your online profile

4. Be deliberate in your approach to dating

5. Don’t compromise your values

6. Do your due diligence

7. Be open to new ideas and experiences

8. Meet online but date offline

9. Don’t rush the process

10.Know when it’s time to step away


Guideline 8: Meet online but date offline. The main purpose for using online dating services is to meet someone you would like to have a relationship with. But once that connection has been made, it is time to move to the next phase of the process, meeting that person face to face, and establishing a long-term relationship. I know there will be circumstances where long-distance dating will be best that you can do for now. Technology gives us the ability to have video conversations and meetings. But nothing beats spending time with someone in person.


It is challenging to get an adequate perspective or develop a connection with someone if the majority of your interactions are online. A lot can be hidden or scripted in a video meeting and is really only a snapshot of the person. It’s sort of like what many people did during the work from home phase of the COVID Pandemic when it came to video meetings. They were dressed suitable from the waste up, but below visible area that could be seen on the screen, they were probably wearing shorts, pajamas, or no bottoms at all. You get the point.


Try as much as possible to meet with the person, you met online, in person as often as you are able. If they insist on mostly meeting online or give excuses why they can’t meet in person, you may want to dig a little deeper into their reasons why. Remember, be true to yourself. It is not a matter of seeming needy and possessive. It is a necessity for establishing a good foundation for a long-term relationship, if that is what they truly want.


Guideline 9: Don’t rush the process. This can be a hard guideline to follow, especially when the relationship is going great, and you think you have found your soul mate. I’d like to quote to old adages were heard from our parents and have probably said them ourselves, “Haste makes waste” and “Don’t rush to grow”. This holds true for the online dating experience. Don’t be in a rush to ask someone to marry you or say yes to a wedding proposal after a very short time of dating. I can’t define for you what a short time is, but if it seems like it is happening too fast then it probably is.


I coached two women at separate times, many years ago, who were asked by the men they had meet to marry them after, what I thought was a short time. One was a month, and one was only a couple weeks of dating. The concern I expressed to them to explore further was why was the man so eager to get marry. To make a long story short, after spending more time with the men, the two women started to see the character flaws and relationship challenges the men had. Eventually, they broke up with the men, because they realized that was not the type of person they wanted to be in a long-term relationship with. Be true to yourself.


Debbie and I met online at the end of December and meet in person the first week in January of the following year. We dated and spent a tremendous amount of time together and with family for nine months before I